17. If Someone Flies Too High, Help Them Safely Land

The stoner and his friends were celebrating a beautiful day. So the stoner refilled his bong with fresh water and packed the bowl heavy with green. When it was ready, he passed the bong and a lighter to the left.

One of the friends did not have much experience with a bong, and so the stoner explained how to smoke, using the simple instructions from the Book of the Bong. The friend understood and did as the stoner had said. Though at first it was difficult, he soon inhaled a thick cloud.

But while the friend was exhaling, he tried to say, “Thanks,” and the word caught in his mouth. He began to cough, doubling over, spitting smoke everywhere. The stoner knew what happened when people choked on a bong rip: they soared.

So the stoner kept an eye on his friend, to make sure he was okay. But a pothead in the circle knew what would happen as well, and he teased, “Are you freaking out?”

The frıend did not reply.

The pothead said, “Somebody called the cops on us. The cops are coming.”

The friend still did not reply.

“You know,” the pothead said, “If you smoke too much weed, you can die.”

The friend looked up at the pothead in terror. And finally, the stoner stood and walked over to his friend and said, “Come with me.” He led his friend to a quiet room, and the friend sat on the floor. The stoner said, “Everything is okay. You are high, but soon you shall return to the ground. Is there anything you would like?”

The friend tried to speak but could not.

So the stoner went into the kitchen and poured a glass of water and grabbed some munchies. He took them into the quiet room, and he gave them to his friend, who finally managed to speak, and he said, “Thank you so much.”

And the stoner walked back out in the room. And the pothead said, “He got too high and I was just having some fun. It’s his fault for smoking too much.”

“Fun comes not from lies,” the stoner said, “and the 17th Rule of Thumb is clear: If someone flies too high, help them safely land.”

Read the eighteenth rule of thumb.